Nightingale

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 07:31:22 GMT

This is the last time I write here, in this journal.

I wouldn't have even done it now, but I love to have the last word.

Burn your bridges, Brandon.

You will never be happy. What you call a 'one-horse town' was a place that accepted you, and even loved you, but you throw it all away.

You've made your decision, and that's fine.

You asked me once if I regretted being with you.

I don't regret falling in love. I regret that it was with you. Because you make it seem like you used me up... used ALL of us... and then cast us all away when you found better, greener grass.

I am a fool.

But I learned a lesson. A good one. I will never look at you the same way I did. I don't hate you, no. I am just incredibly disappointed. All those things you promised, all those things you said that you would do...

Everything was a lie.

You are a liar.

I defended you until the end. But I give up. I throw the responsibility down. If you think you can lie your way into happiness, go ahead and try.

As for me, I have the rest of my life to live. And I've never ever felt more refreshed.

I've cleansed myself of you. Of your touch, of your scent, of your memories. Hell, it's getting hard to remember your face.

I don't care.

I don't care if you are hurt by this, because you are being selfish. And why shouldn't I, then?

The end.

Run away, Brandon, like a coward. I thought you were better than that. But I suppose I was lying to myself.

so here i am

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 22:54:45 GMT

So here I am on a working computer hooked up to the internet. I haven't decided whether or not this is a dream, because it doesn't seem like it is real! Wow! Been waiting years for this, my own computer to do whatever the hell I want to on. ^_^

I have to thank Brandon for this. I wasn't expecting it at all, but it was a really kind thing to do. It will be put to good use, believe you me. So thanks, I mean it. Thanks to Fox for the permission to do this, and to Tony for... um... carrying the monitor into my room o_O

My room is all clean and smells like lemon grass. Lovely! A compy, boatloads of music via Brandon, pretty lights... I am so content. XD

I have a desk. W3rd.

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 03:30:43 GMT

So much to talk about.

Today was beautiful. Aaron's last day in St. Louis, so we took him downtown to the historic district. I bought him a tiger's eye stone and a touramine stone to protect him on his train ride back to North Carolina, or 'No'th Cackalackey' as he likes to call it. Weird southern people... XD

Last night was a lot of goodness. I spent the night alone in my room, cleaning, singing, dancing to myself, drawing... listening to Bjork, Cat Stevens, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and The Rasmus. Oh! Jimi Hendrix, too. A good musical night.

Don't you feel a change a coming
from another side of time
breaking down the walls of silence
lifting shadows from your mind
Placing back the missing mirrors
that before you couldn't find
filling mysteries of emptiness
that yesterday left behind

And we all know it's better
Yesterday has past
now let's all start the living
for the one that's going to last
And we all know it's better
Yesterday has past
now let's all start the living
for the one that's going to last

Don't you feel the day is coming
that will stay and remain
when your children see the answers
that you saw the same
when the clouds have all gone
there will be no more rain
and the beauty of all things
is uncovered again

Don't you feel the day is coming
and it won't be too soon
when the people of the world
can all live in one room
when we shake off the ancient
shake off the ancient chains of our tomb
we will all be born again
of the eternal womb

I liked that one a lot.

Today, at Border's, I bought a few things. Another collection of herbal remedies and applications for my bookshelf. Stephen King's 'The Gunslinger,' because I promised Jonas I'd read it. Two volumes by Laurell K. Hamilton. A little smutty at times, but I can't say no to vampires in St. Louis. It's just so WEIRD to read about the characters cavorting about in Creve Coeur, Chesterfield, and Wildwood, among other suburbs of St. Louis. I mean... those are all places I drive through/visit, so it makes the story interesting.

As I'm moving through herbal healing, I'm starting to think about spiritual healing. But with all those books with their conflicting opinions and advice on the matter, I trust myself more. I don't need a book to feel my rhythms and the way my body and energy moves.

You all think I'm weird, don't you? XD

Oh! Great news! I may have my own computer, very shortly! WITH INTERNET CONNECTION! HALLELUJAH! My friends pooled their old parts together and built me my very own computer. I'm so happy. I have such good friends. They're going to help me set it up in my room on Friday. SO WONDERFUL! I'm excited. My home internet connection has been down for more than two weeks now, because my step-father is a procrastinator and also won't let me touch the damned thing to try and fix it. I've been TRYING to get a picture colored, but I can't do anything with the compy out of commission.

Valet/Ramy from Gaia finally finished my commission. I'd paid my nitemare mini-wings for him to draw my character and web persona, Rynne, a few months ago, and then he disappeared off the face of the planet. I thought he was gone for good and my miniwings gone with him, but he showed up again on Gaia under a different screen name. He apologized and fulfilled his end of the bargain, so YAY! Wanna see?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/ramy_b/cloudsfinish.jpg

He did such a good job. <3

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 08:18:38 GMT

Eh... four more years. o_O

green ballots and tuscan chicken

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 21:04:06 GMT

This has been a wonderful, beautiful day. No matter that it's freezing outside and wet, and seeming like winter has finally taken hold. No matter that the power shut itself off today.

I got up at seven, took my mother to work. I came home and played with my dog a bit and worked on my pixelated tarot cards (currently, I have three of the major arcana finished... a long way to go). Then the power shut off, so I decided to spend the day out. I went and voted first. My first election, and it was somewhat fulfilling to leave that little school gym feeling like I'd helped to make a difference. For the longest time, politics was something very VAGUE to me, who couldn't vote and didn't know the issues. But being in that small elementary school, waiting in line for the polls, politics was brought down to a personal level. Among the other ordinary people (a mother with her child, a business man on lunch, a school cafeteria worker who'd snuck away to wait in line), I felt that eventually, politics did reach us. Hm.

I went to St. Louis Bread Company after that and had a steaming bowl of broccoli cheddar soup and their wonderful tuscan chicken sandwich. Then, off to the mall, where I spent the rest of the time in Borders. After whoring the manga section for a bit, I eventually came home with the 2005 Poet's Market, which I'd been meaning to buy for awhile but didn't like the $25 price. I broke down. I also bought two other books-- one expounding on korean comic art, and the other explaining digital coloring techniques.

Now I'm at home, brewing up a hot cup of jasmine tea. I feel very, very good. n______n I don't even mind that I have to work an eight hour shift until half past midnight tonight. Don't mind at all!

the darkness

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 06:48:13 GMT

I just got back from the first haunted house I've been to in a long while. A set-up one, mind you, but it was still pretty fun. Katrina and I got our tickets at a reduced price... we bought them from a girl who was too scared to go in. XD Then, we waited for half an hour to forty-five minutes in line. There was a guy in costume rousing up the crowd. A big guy with awesome dreads and a wonderful trenchcoat. We decided that he and Rachel should someday get togther. Entering, I got stared down by a zombie guy after I accidentally bumped into him. He wasn't scary, and I didn't act scared, so I think he was offended. He seemed to pick on me a lot after that, until we left the area.

I was followed a good fifty feet by a crossdresser with a knife. It was a little disconcerting. XD But we ran into our dreadlock guy again, and Katrina laughed. "Hey Rachel, it's your friend!" she shouted. The guy followed us yelling Rachel's name. Quite fun. I wasn't SCARED scared. But I did jump back and yelp when people jumped out at me. It was fun.

Fri, 29 Oct 2004 06:35:15 GMT

So, worked again today. I may have to spend tomorrow carting around my step father, since his car broke down yesterday. That will really suck.

Gaia has munak and bongun-esque halloween costumes, now. XD

I haven't been doing much, mainly cleaning here and there, working, and hanging out with my friends. Drawing a lot! And studying my plants. Maybe this weekend I'll drive down to one of the parks and gather a bit of stuff to take back and identify, and possibly use. Word of warning to friends: no more over the counter medicine for you. Come see me and I'll give you leafy goodness of good.

Like anyone would come. XD Ah well.

I'm going to see Rachel B. on Saturday. Other Rachel! I shall call you soon. We should go see a movie or something. ^_^

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 06:28:17 GMT

I've been working too much to really think lately. Maybe it's a good thing.

shikityshwa

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 02:07:48 GMT

Today was interesting. I got my ears pierced. I want to have mulitple earrings, eventually. Something I've always thought about doing but never actually got around to it till now. At the mall, Fox's battery needed a jump. An Israeli ex-military now mall-security guy came to jump the car, but he didn't seem to know what he was doing, as he put the ground on plastic. :\

I got to ride in the back of Tony's truck when we all had to run to Fox's house for the jumper cables in his old Sable. Then, back to the mall where after a bit of difficulty we managed to get everything shipshape again. Twas fun.

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 18:50:33 GMT

On Wednesday night, my lovely little Obi-chan turtle friend died. I don't know why. When I went to sleep, he was perfectly fine. He didn't show any symptoms of any sickness, so I don't know what happened. I thought maybe he'd gotten in a fight with Kappa, though they'd never had problems before. But he didn't look maimed.

I buried him beneath a little tree in our yard. And last night, Kappa made the strangest sound. He CHIRPED. For the better part of an hour. I think he was crying.

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 09:25:57 GMT

Worked. Played DDR until I was too tired to think much.

I don't work tomorrow. It's going to be a long day. I put those things in the closet. Doesn't feel right to return them. I'm not sure what to do with them, really.

I bought a wish bracelet yesterday. Blue glass beads for peace in life. When it breaks I'll make a decision. Seems fitting, I think. Didn't notice until now that there were twenty altogether. I'd like to leave it in Fate's hand, anyway.

I have to say that I'm extremely thankful for my friends. Thanks to them I don't have to dwell in it all the time. I hope he's got equal support from his friends and loved ones. I'm sure he does.

Laundry and room cleaning tomorrow. And FMA, since Fox let me borrow the series. THANK YOU!

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 04:47:31 GMT

The hardest thing is waking up.

I know there are things to be said, but I don't trust myself yet to keep my wits. But don't think that anyone hates you. I don't hate you, not at all.

When something was an intregal part of your life, it's extremely difficult to find things to even begin to fill the hole that's left. And it can't even be filled. The best you can do is patch it and camoflague it so that when someone asks how you are, you can say 'I'm fine.'

I can't hate anyone. I can't not love people, one in particular.

But I cannot cannot cannot let myself be hurt.

I've lost sight of myself. Where did my ambitions go? Where did my future go?

This is the time rediscover myself. Time to take everything in my life, polish it again, and put it where it belongs. I've let myself veer hopelessly off course. I need to find my road again. The thread I was following. If I can remember it, I'll regain my perspective.

I'm not saying it can never be again. If it is, things are going to be different. I will take my future in my own hands and shape it. I can't let myself be content to just let things happen. Because things don't happen on their own. Things get stagnant and then I let myself be satisfied with it. It's the root of my depression.

I'm going to college. I'm getting a good job, something I can be happy doing.

I let myself be blinded in love. I let myself slip dangerously. It was my fault, completely. I can't do that again, not until I've accomplished what I set out to do. If my partner and I can support each other then I will be happy. But we can't let ourselves be satisfied with nothing, and only dream about the future. We have to make our future.

I've forgotten what it takes to do that. I need to go out and remember how it goes.

So, until then, I will wait. Watch. Test the waters, perhaps. I can be patient. And I'm stubborn as hell.

We'll see how it goes.

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 20:01:34 GMT

She has a porcelain doll.
She keeps it hidden away
far in the recesses of her closet--
tied up with twine in an old shoebox.

You know, she kept that thing secret.
Just for you and her to enjoy.
She kissed its cold cheeks,
fixed its mussed golden curls
and called it Sacred Love.
Except sometimes when she called it
Blue-eyed Heartbreak.

Today, she changed that doll's name again--
threw its precious form across the room,
watched it bounce once and then shatter.
She cried when its alabaster hands
skittered back to her,
heaving wracking sobs.

That doll no longer is.
She only tries to remember it,
tries to assemble it again in her mind.
In her heart.
She calls it Empty
and only cries about it sometimes.

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 04:43:22 GMT

[ survey # 1 ]
[What does your name mean?]--- 'born in the Ash tree meadow'
[Birthday?]--- July tenth.
[Zodiac Sign?] --- Cancer, Taurus moon, Aries ascendant, second decanate.
[What are your plans for tonight?]--- Bleh. Be left out whilst my guy friends have fun.
[What time is it?] --- 11:18 PM
[Taken a picture of yourself with a milk mustache and sent it to the milk people?]-- No. How does one take a picture of themselves? Mirrors reflect flashes.
[Said "I love you" and not meant it?]--- Yes, but only in a playful/joking manner.
[Gotten into a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish/etc?]--- My dog and I spar daily.
[Been to New York?]-- No. I'd love to go.
[Been to Florida?] -- Yes, only once. I decided I love the ocean.
[California?]-- No!
[Hawaii?]--- If only I had money.
[Mexico?] --- Never.
[Philippines?]--- *shakes head*
[Had a dream about something really crazy?] --- Who hasn't?
[Stalked someone?] --- Haha, that's what seventh grade crushes are for.
[Had a mud bath?] --- Not intentionally. And certainly not in a spa. Mud covered? Yes.
[Wished you were the opposite gender?]--- I'll have to go with a big HELL NO.
[Had an imaginary friend]--- Of course! He lived in the electrical outlet.

Pick one
[Apples or Bananas?]-- They're both so good. I could never decide.
[Red or Blue?]--- Red. It's a strong, attention grabbing color.
[Wal-Mart or Target?] -- Both, because I love a good bargain.
[Spring or fall?]--- Spring. Fall reminds me of winter, which reminds me of death, which makes me think too much.
[Do you have a boy/girlfriend?]--- Yes. More than a year now.
[Santa or Rudolph?]--- We leave a note and a carrot for Rudolph every year.

Which of your friends...
[Has the most distinct laugh?]--- Fox.
[Will grow up and be a model?]--- Lauren. What a beautiful face.
[Is going to have the most kids?]--- Katrina, who loves little kids.
[Have you known the longest?]--- Keith. I met him first when I moved to St. Louis.
[Knows you the best?]--- I don't know myself half the time.
[Is the loudest?]--- Haha, Lauren or Katrina.
[Is the quietest?]--- Rachel can be quiet a lot. Unless she's hyper. Then she's scary.
[Do you miss the most?]--- Lauren. I wish we could mend our broken friendship.

Just Wondering...
[What are you going to do after you finish this survey?]--- I don't know. Draw, I suppose.
[What was the last meal you ate?]--- Chinese
[Are you bored?]--- I'm always busy, but I'm not happy with it.
[How many of your buddies are online?]--- I'm not online. But I can say probably less than 5.

Which was the...
[Last movie you saw?] --- Hmm... I can't remember. It's been so long since I've been to the theater. I rented Evil Dead recently, though.
[Last noise you heard?]--- *type type*
[Last time you were out of state]--- Earlier in September.

[MY OBSESSION:]--- Kitsune, writing, DAYDREAMING
[MY MOST ATTRACTIVE FEATURE:]--- I have a cute little Irish face, if I do say so myself.
[MY FAVORITE THING TO DO:]--- Sit in my room with the windows open, listening to something bluesy or jazzy and reading for hours through the onset of evening.
[I'M WEARING:]--- Satin robe and bare feet!
[I'M EATING:]-- Chinese.
[I'M DRINKING:]--- Water.
[LISTENING TO:]--- Touched by Visual Audio Sensory Theater (VAST)
[I'M FEELING:]--- tired
[I'M THINKING:]--- about how money sucks.
[I SEE:]--- Things other people don't notice or care about.

when I hear ___ I think...
[Kill?]--- Moth
[Red?]--- China
[Dance?]--- Eyes
[Fire?]--- Phoenix

Faves:
[food?] --- Mediterranean food. YUM! Oriental food. Ramen.
[drink?] --- Dr. Slice, Ramune, Ginger Ale, Jasmine Tea, Green Tea
[color?] --- Pink, always and forever. But vibrant pink. None of that princess-complex pastel pink.
[album?] --- I love love love Yoko Kanno's 'Wolf's Rain' soundtrack CD.
[shoes?] --- Bwaha. Knee high black moon-heeled boots. Or my red silk chinese shoes.
[site?]--- www.gaiaonline.com If you can ignore the plethora of idiots, that is.
[song?] Rest in Pieces - Saliva
[vegetable?]--- Hmm. I like most anything veggie. Cauliflower raw, dipped in ranch is good.
[fruit?]--- Eeeeek don't make me decide. Cantaloupe?
[berry?]--- Straaaaaawberry!
[alcohol?] --- I have no idea. I don't drink enough to know. I do like white wines, though.

Last Person you...
[touched?]-- my sister, saying goodbye
[talked to?]-- On the phone, Brandon
[hugged]-- My sister, again.
[instant messaged?]-- Shelby
[kissed?]- Haha, my sister, on the cheek. People are going to start getting ideas.

[ series one-basic ]
name: Ashley Anne. ARG I HATE IT.
birth-date: 10 July 1985
birth-place: Chicago
current location: Compy, in the front room of the house.
eye color: Y'know, it changes. It varies between blue, hazel, and green.
hair color: dark auburn
right or lefty: right handed
zodiac sign: Cancerian YES I KNOW WHAT MY GLYPH LOOKS LIKE
innie or outtie: Innie!

[ series two-describe ]
shoes you wore today: Black and silver tennis shoes
your hair: I just recently got it cut. Short, curly, and choppy in the back. Long and straight in the front.
your eyes: We went over this. But currently, medium blue/gray.
your perfect pizza: Imo's. Thank god for St. Louis and its provel cheese.

[ series three-what is ]
your most overused aim phrase: Khuru!
your first thoughts waking up: Where am I?
your first feature to notice on males: Faces, always. Expressions, especially.
best butler name: Lionel
best physical features: That I have? Or that I admire? Have: face, short stature. Admire: tallness, facial features. Ohhhh... those dark eyes always get me.
bedtime: One or two in the morning.
greatest fear: Death. Not reaching my goals.
greatest accomplishment: I can't honestly say that I've done anything amazing. I'm happy enough to just get along.
most missed memory: Well, I have to say being on somewhat good terms with Dan. I really regret the way we regard each other now.

[ series four-you prefer ]
pepsi or coke: Pepsi from the fountain, Coke from the machine.
mcdonalds or burger king: McDonald's, if I had to choose.
adidas or nike: Pshaw. Are you kidding? Too expensive.
lipton ice tea or nestea: Ew. It doesn't even taste like tea.
chocolate or vanilla: CHOCOLATE
cappuccino or coffee: I don't like coffee in any form very much.
boxers or briefs: Eh? Why does that matter?

[ series five-do you ]
smoke: I HATE IT.
swear: Sometimes. People seem surprised when I do.
sing well: Better than some. I enjoy it, and do it a lot.
take a shower everyday: No. Every other day, yes.
ever been in love: I believe so. But I'm pretty young. I could be wrong, I suppose.
want to go to college: Yes. But I can't afford it right now.
like high school: Eh, it was okay. Everything was easier then. Hated the social hierarchy, though.
want to get married: Definitely.
type using home row keys: Yes. None of that hunt and peck stuff.
believe in yourself: Yes. I know what I believe in and am not afraid to stand firm.
get motion sickness: I used to, but not any more.
think you're attractive: Media attractive? No. I'm much too curvy and weigh over 110 lbs. But I'm fairly happy with myself.
health freak: Haha, this annoys my friends. I'm not a health freak, but I'm much more health concious than they are.
get along with parents: Jeez. Haven't spoken with Dad and his side for over a year. And I'm not relating well to my mother right now.
play an instrument: I used to play clarinet. Five years. I can play a bit of flute as well. But I mostly just sing.

[ series six-in the past month...did/have you ]
drank alcohol: Wine
smoked: Ick.
done a drug: If you count echinnecea
had sex: Yes.
gone to mall: Yes. That is where Border's is. And the arcade.
eaten a box of oreos: No, but it sounds wonderful. I would probably get sick.
been on stage: Yes. I was Sakura from Naruto in an improv skit.
been dumped: No.
gone skating: I broke two arms that way. My rollerblades and I are mortal enemies.
made homemade cookies: No, but I really should. Lemon tea cookies. YUM!
been in love: Again, I believe so.
gone skinny dipping: Never have. Too nervous of being caught.
dyed your hair: No. But I want to dye the front pink.
stolen anything: No. I work in retail. Therefore theives=scum of the world.

[ series seven-have you ever ]
played a game that required removing clothing: No.
gotten wasted: No, I'm afraid of what would happen to me.
been caught "doing something:" Once. Very embarrasing.
been called a tease: Yes, but jokingly. I am not teasish/kinky at all. SORRY! JEEZ!
gotten beaten up: No.
stolen anything: I once walked out of a store with a book, not realizing I still had it. I ran back in there, apologized, and returned it.
if so, did you get caught: Not really, the cashier understood.

[ series eight-the future ]
marriage age: Middle twenties.
numbers/names of kids: At least two, I think. Faust and Lillith.
dream wedding: Beautiful natural setting. A small affair.
college location: A city.
place you'd like to visit: Japan, Europe

[ series nine-about the opposite sex ]
best eye color: I love dark eyes, but it's not too important
best hair color: Dark
short or long hair: I like guys with long-ish hair. Enough for me to mess with.
best height: Tall tall tall
best weight: It doesn't matter, really. Enough to hug and not get poked, I suppose.
best article of clothing: Jewelry.
best first date location: Outside somewhere. A park, hiking trail, oh! Moonlit meadow.
best first kiss location: Somewhere natural and deserted. So I feel like we're the only people there.

[ series ten-number of ]
illegal drugs done: None.
people you'd trust your life with: Two or three people.
cds i own: thirty to fourty
piercings: I had my ears pierced. They've closed up.
tattoos: None, but I have a few ideas.
times names been in newspapers: Two or three times.
scars on body: Hmm... three, I think. All from cats.
things in past i regret: Eh, you don't want me to go into this.

[ series eleven-current ]
current clothes: Been over this.
current mood: Introspective.
current taste: *licks* My fingers taste like fried rice.
current hair: Still nice looking, since I got home from work not long ago.
current annoyance: Feeling left out.
current thing you ought to be doing: Cleaning Obi and Kappa's tank.
current desktop: Natsume Maya looking like she's going to whip around and kill you.
current favorite hottie: Bwahaha. Hottie. I can't say that word without thinking of twelve year olds and their angsty love lives.
current book: Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
current drink: Nothing.
current worry: Things I don't want to talk about.
current crush: Gackt is a sexy, sexy man.

I hate when my thoughts spiral into themselves. I think too much.

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 17:05:37 GMT

Is there such a thing as an insignificant death? That's my current form of wandering since I discovered a little dead bird in my garden today. Maybe one of my cats got to it. I'm not sure.

Looks like it might rain. That would be a very good thing since it's been pretty drought like throughout September. I can feel the air cooling down. I love fall weather, but the fact that winter is right behind kind of dampers the mood. Autumn makes me nostalgic.

I think each season has a particular smell. Autumn smells like sweet hay, dried leaves, and promised snow. On the whole it has a sweet, earthy scent. That's why I like to sit outside, because the smell reminds me of the things Autumn reminds me of. Seventh grade angst. Numerous Halloweens. Some marching competitions and a few scattered Homecomings.

Chiru's birthday is on the first, and Brandon's is on the twentieth. Chiru will be twenty-one, I believe. She's not one for alcohol, so I don't know what we'll do to celebrate. Speaking of Chiru, I need to return her items to her and cancel my Nexus account.

carness

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 18:12:31 GMT

I have a car that I want. I saw it on the side of the road at a small dealership last week. A cute little orange thing-- that's all I could see driving by at forty miles an hour. Yesterday Brandon and I went to take a look at it. It is cute and orange. And a 1987 Nissan 240SX. And a stick shift. And A FREAKING RACING CAR. It has a rollcage, for chrissakes. A ROLLCAGE! The seats have harness belts. It's so cool! The car itself I could afford. But the insurance would be outrageous.

;-;

I want.

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 05:21:35 GMT

You are a Samurai.
You have trained the majority of your life. You are
honerable, you follow your word. You spare no
one once in combat, but that is expected, for
your oponent would do the same to you. You use
a two-handed katana.

What type of Swordsman are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thu, 16 Sep 2004 06:11:40 GMT

In less than twenty four hours my hair will be chopped off.

....

... OH MY GOD, WHAT AM I DOING TO MYSELF!?

>_>

I think someone will have to tie me to the chair. Or drug me. Or something. But it must be done.

My Natsume Maya skirt turned out uber-short. Shorter than I would have liked, but eh. Lil' fanservice never hurt anyone. XP Just kidding. I'm going out to find some bike shorts or SOMETHING. Guys at anime conventions can be pretty scary and desperate.

Last time, a little twerp asked me to dump Brandon and spend the night with him. When I said hell no, he asked again, and said he'd pay me for it. !!!! Ack! How horrible! Two other guys (older... maybe middle aged) wanted to take their picture with me. That's normal when you're cosplaying. So I thought nothing of it until one of them just randomly swept me off the ground. I was freaked out and he wouldn't put me down.

I wish I had Maya's choukto rekki. Fanboys wouldn't dare mess with a girl who is holding a sword. Bwahahaha!

*lusts for blades*

<_<

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 06:06:25 GMT

Yeah, Da Qiao style! XD

Well... I made the appointment with the hair lady today to get my curls all chopped off. I'm very nervous! I developed a phobia of hairdressers after a horrible cut I got when I was ten or eleven. I haven't even trimmed my hair since eighth grade. BUT! It's time for a change. I'll post a photo after the deed is done. Everyone think of me at two in the afternoon on Thursday, because I'll likely be squeezing my eyes shut and gripping the chair arms as the first cut is made.

Loki died today. I got home, fed Obi and Kappa, and then went to feed Loki. He was a very dead fishy. I don't know why. He has nice, filtered water, food once a day, a temperate climate... I can't understand why he died. I only had him for a month or two, but I felt bad. But, I'll buy another fish, from somewhere other than Wal-Mart this time. I have all the equipment, and I liked having a fish around. Poor Loki. T_T

AI is less than a week away. I MUST SEW WITH THE SPEED OF GAZELLES! On the up side, my cat ears look very cute!

Yay!

Mon, 06 Sep 2004 04:30:26 GMT

It's finally up! The site!

http://www.foxsong.net

And the forums, of course.

http://forums.foxsong.net

Ahh... the nostalgia

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 04:34:40 GMT

of a highschool football game. Look at me speak of it like a jaded old lady. XD Actually, it was very unsettling. Seeing all those faces that you don't recognize anymore. You used to know who everyone was, but the school is no longer your place any more.

I went with my little brother to watch my sister perform in the colorguard at half-time. A pretty good show for a first performance of the season, even if there were a few hitches. Shea said that she dropped her flag and hurried to catch up, taking out a bandmember in the process. XD

Personally, I hope the band director would get fired. Bastard.

In any case, I ran into Mr. Tarnowski at the game, my wonderful worldly highschool French teacher. I got his e-mail address so that I can send him my french poetry so that he can check them. It's been awhile since I was actively reading and writing in French, so I think I probably made a few mistakes.

Loki, my fish, has been trying to jump a lot lately. But he hits the top of his little aquarium and then falls back into the water. I hope he doesn't give himself a concussion!

Oh! I got my Kabuto figure thingy in the mail today. Actually, Brandon got it in the mail, since my family would be like "eBay is the devil! Your identity will be STOLEN if you shop online!"

Whoever steals my identity will find no health insurance and a measly sum of money in the bank. XD

Japanese Festival

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 15:51:09 GMT

Tomorrow! Yay!

I stayed up till one AM last night and got most of my kimono finished. I still need to chop it short. And hem it. And fix the bow on the back. The bow is friggin' huge! Like... it trails on the ground if I don't wear my shoes. That's okay though. It's just a bit too floppy. I have some heavier gauge wire that might perk it up a bit. I just have to find it in the abyss of cloth and thread in my sewing box. XD

sigh

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 12:48:32 GMT

You are AERIS. Benevolent, beautiful and...well,
hopefully not dead.

What Final Fantasy VII character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I always picked Tifa over Aeris, too. :\

Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:15:11 GMT

You are Proffesor X!

You are highly capable of any task and you care
deeply for the ones surrounded by you. Enough
to risk your life for them!

Which of the X-men do you resemble most?
brought to you by Quizilla

Better Relationship
eXpressive: 3/10
Practical: 4/10
Physical: 4/10
Giver: 6/10

You are a RSIG--Reserved Sentimental Intellectual Giver. This makes you a People-Pleaser.

Oh, RSIG! You are the most complicated and dynamic of any type. You are brilliant, tender, romantic and a joy to be with. You're the favorite of many of your friends. It's just not a party until you get there. You are bursting with feeling and sentiment and insight but you very rarely express it -- it's not how you want to present yourself to the world. Although you are always studying your non-romantic relationships -- you turn a blind eye to romantic relationships.

You're highly adaptable, and you conform to your circumstances (maybe you're a youngest child?). You would probably be content with almost anyone, and almost anyone would be blissfully happy to have you. But just because you're content doesn't mean you're happy. Don't settle!

You'd rather ignore your problems than rock the boat by creating conflict. Please understand that in the long run ignoring conflict will make you unhappy and your partner exhausted. Try picking a fight just to see how it goes. You'll find out that solving problems is so satisfying for you that it makes conflict worth it.

Your sex life could be fantastic if you could stop worrying about everything so much (did I wash my hands? how do I look? what do I need to do tomorrow?). You need a sweet, expressive lover who makes you feel at ease and never puts pressure on you. If you feel secure with your partner outside the bedroom, it will make all the difference.

You cry at movies. A lot.

Of the 37567 people who have taken this quiz, 6.5 % are this type.

Turtles

Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:07:08 GMT

LJMeme.com Crush Meme
Number of crushes on me so far: 1
LJ username:

I bet it's Katsu-chan, looking for a little loving on the side now that Andrea's out of town. XD

Anyway, I had a very strange dream last night. It took place in my grandmother's neighborhood. I used to go there every summer. Anyway, my sister and I would walk a block and a half to the neighborhood pool almost every day. The dream started off like that, but I was alone. My sister wasn't there. When I got to my destination, I found a playground and not a pool. In the dream I was about sixteen, and all the kids on the playground were about that age as well. There was one girl who seemed to be an evil queen. She was bossy and evil. She got her friend so upset that the girl jumped off the slide and committed suicide. After a little while of this, I got sick of it and told the evil girl off. She crumpled into a pile of repenting goo with sobs of 'I'm sorry, I can't help it.' And her friends all stuck up for her. I was disgusted (she'd just caused the death of a friend!) and left the playground, not planning to ever come back.

When I got back to my grandmother's house, I was suddenly in a department store after close. In the sewing department, to be exact (that's what I get for staying up all night to finish hemming a kimono). I'd been feeling that someone was following me, so I turned around. Sure enough, I was being followed. By a Ninja Turtle. I'M DEAD SERIOUS! It was the one with the blue mask. I can't remember his name. Purple was Donatello, Red was Raphael, Yellow was Michelangelo... who was blue? In any case, he was following me because he wanted something from me, and the evil girl had sent him after me. I couldn't figure out what he wanted, and we ended up in this Matrix-like fight sequence. Of course he kicked my ass. He's a Ninja Turtle for godsake! After my defeat, I went into the back stockroom of the sewing department to find a chamber of rooms. There were so many of them, and each had its own strange decorative motif. The room I decided to sleep in was dark, so I couldn't make out the interior, but the room across the hall had the light on and the door open. It was a large, yellow painted room with a statue in the middle. The statue depicted a stereotypical old time mexican family. Straw hats, handlebar mustaches, white shirts and red collars... the whole works. It was so weird. The floor was wooden.

The Ninja Turtle came by to check on me, and I woke up when my mother opened my bedroom door.

Gah, WHAT is that turtle's name!? It's going to bug me for the rest of the day.

Your LJ RPG Team
LJ Username
Sex
Favorite Color
Weapon of Choice
Your Partner	fenrirsm
Your Warrior	priestsanzo
The Giggly, Flirtatious Magic User with Big Breasts	teadragon
The Talking Animal	cho_gono
Main Archenemy	yoh
Evil Incarnate	katsupanda

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